Child like thinking.

 

Kids, What do they know?

We always think this. But through observation and their own way of how their minds work to make sense of the world we all live in; we could learn one heck of a lot from them.

The rascals make a huge noise, drive parents crazy, never know when to quit.... the list goes on.

They sure make the world more colourful.

What I wouldn’t do to go run and play on the jungle gyms and slides and merry-go-rounds at the park. Maybe I should just go do it one day. I might get a few funny looks, but I would probably enjoy it. I don’t actually know what the hell is stopping me.

Who said we cannot act like kids

A few weeks ago, my grandson, who is now 9 years of age, came to me and asked me a profound question. "Nana, why are there so many people starving in the world but the people in jail get food three times a day?" Huh? What makes you think of this?

Goodness, what do you answer to that question? I had absolutely no answer for that. Totally broke my brain.

Wouldn't it be better to go through life without having to think of elections and making money and stressing about where the food on the table will come from? Even in this little man's mind, he thinks about who deserves the food more.

He has a point. wouldn't the prisons be a lot less crowded if the food that they get there is distributed to the poor or homeless then they will not be incarcerated for petty crimes and have to live in jail.

Yes, yes, yes, this idea is flawed, but think about it.

When the annual show came around with the amusement park and everything, we make sure that we never miss it, especially so that Nana and her favourite grandson can go on all the rides. Sometimes together other times I don't want to go on all the rides that he wants to go on and also, he likes to go on some of the most gut-wrenching rides alone. He always seems to pick the scariest ones.

Now at the age of 47, I still love all the rides that are there but there are one or two that I draw the line at.  He has absolutely no fear at all, he just hops on.

After all the rides and excitement, we decided to go watch a show where a friend of ours was singing. He went crazy dancing to music and asking for songs and probably enjoyed himself more than the rides.

Obviously, He had enjoyed himself so much that he ran back to my daughter and asked her for his wallet. He pulled out a R100 note and wanted to tip the entertainer for singing for him. About a year ago he did the same in Cape Town. Now he only had R1000 spending money but he wanted to tip them R100 too. (I think it was a shelter of some sort, I can't quite remember.)

Adults are a little stingier with their money. We might give like a R20 or maybe if we are feeling really generous, a R50

There is no stopping this little dude.

My husband is a Superman enthusiast and has plenty of memorabilia and posters, and whatever else he can find, displayed everywhere in our entertainment room. He has a door with Superman on both sides which leads to his office. Even the cat is called Kal-El. Now you must know.

Three years ago. I asked the little man who his favourite superhero was, I was waiting for an answer like Spiderman or Ironman or Batman… Instead, he said “Jesus”

His reasoning behind his answer is that God had created everything and that must include the superheroes so he will pick the biggest one.

What a clever answer.

Last year I read a book by David Weinberger, My $100 Million Secret. In this book, a youngster wins the lottery, and he enlists the help of the old lady who had given him the ticket in payment for a good deed that he had done for her. But in this book, the author shows what goes on in the mind of a child of about 13 years old. Along with his 2 friends, they basically tried to help the people who needed it the most.

I loved this book.

Wouldn’t it be great if each child is born with a manual on how to be raised? If anyone has a manual that came with their child, please could you send us all a copy?

We are all just winging it.

Years ago, I was teaching Sunday School and there was a certain young boy in my class that used to save his sweet, which I handed out at the end of every lesson. He would always come and ask me for another one. He would turn on his heel and run to his baby sister’s class and give the extra sweet that he had and they would open the sweets up together and eat them………

Makes you think, hey?

I always made sure I had extra for this reason.

Are children more intelligent than adults? Has the world corrupted our brains so much?

I always say, just ask, the worst answer you will get is NO! to which I get the answer back, “But the second worst is Maybe! (Where does my GS come up with all these funny quips.

He reckons that the nicest thing about winter is that there are no flies or mosquitoes. If you ask him if he is happy, “Yes I am, everyone should be happy!”

Yesterday he could not open a bottle of water that we had ordered at a local coffee shop, and he turned to me and told me that he thought that Hulk 2.0 had put the lid on this bottle as nobody was able to open it.

I could go on for days with all the clever little things that he says. But I think that we should not just always tell the children to listen to us. (because we think we know much more than them.) We should also start listening to their pure minds and ask them plenty of questions about how they see the world. I think that at the end of the day, we would possibly end up in stitches on the floor. However, it would also make us think about the world differently and what needs to be done.

I think my Brother and his wife have brought up their kids the right way as they let them figure it out and then help them with whatever they need to still fix or give them advice and make them see the bigger picture about why it is not going to work. I think that this sparks real intelligence in the children. They are really brilliant achievers. They can do whatever they set their minds to.

It might not work for all children but it sure works for them and I am a really proud Aunty.

 

Like I said before, if anyone has the manual that a child was born with, please share it with all of us.

Enjoy your kids they are actually fantastic.

Oh my ADHD Goodness!!!

Now where was I? …… What was I going to do? … mmm. What did you say?

Even as a child I used to say those words, especially waking up from me staring into the abyss with a completely blank mind.

Now when I was a child there was no such thing as ADD or ADHD. Just a spaced-out kid or an extremely energetic one, that couldn’t sit still. These were probably normal parameters for a child back then.

I used to drive nearly every teacher crazy. They could quite possibly see that I was nowhere near this planet called Earth, drifting far out into the next galaxy. Getting myself to focus on my studies was an even bigger feat! “She’s Lazy’” or “She has no motivation.” Or “She’s always busy with other things instead of what she should be doing.”

Yep, Poor Teachers.

This is how I carried on throughout my whole life. Frustration upon Frustration. Not me, of course, I was not frustrated then, but everyone else probably was.

Then after a tragedy last year, I was diagnosed with ADHD. “What? I have What?” After lengthy explanations and a few tests and as sure as eggs is eggs, I have ADHD. 46 years old and plodded through my life with this… What an eye-opener. Goodness. But treatment and management were the salvation.

My mom used to say, “Go clean your room!” I would go, but when I would get there, I would ultimately end up playing with my Barbie or other toys that were lying around still and then get into bigger trouble, because it was probably the third time my mom had told me to go do it.

They say that people with ADHD have different symptoms. So, here goes! I will go through some of mine

1.      1. Disorganization

 What do you mean? I know where everything is. It’s my organized chaos. I have organized it. Desk a mess, cupboard a mess, nightstand a mess, however most times I can find whatever I need to. In other instances, I would have to retrace my steps to be able to remember which was the next troublesome quest.

So, this symptom is a definite YES.

 

2.    2.  Relationship concerns.

 “Why must I remember this person’s name again?” or “Who is this dude again?” “Sorry what is your name again, I know I have met you a couple of times before but I really cannot remember.”

Sitting in a conversation trying to follow it, but either too complicated or boring, in which case the abyss sets in again and I am off to another planet. Weeks later someone says, “, but I told you!’ umm…

Other times, I get so excited about what the conversation is about, that I just want to chip in all the time, and I am seen as Mrs. Rude. So sorry. I actually can’t help being insensitive or rude. I try so hard not to be. It’s not really in my nature to be rude or uncaring. It just sometimes comes across like that

 Again, another big YES on this one

 

3.      3. Lack of focus

 Look, even as a child, if I had the mindset to concentrate, even if it was only for 30 min, I had to close myself off and then maybe I would be able to focus. Een now, if I get a bee in my bonnet to write these stories, there must be nothing … “Oh look, my cat looks so cure lying on the windowsill. … What was I saying again?”

I literally have to read something important a few times so that I can make sure that I have not overlooked anything.

Starting studies too. I have paid quite a bit of money on short courses in my life, and have not finished most of them. If I can not do it while I am in a motivated mood then, forget it. I have wasted my money once again.

 A huge frustrating YES.

 

4.     4.  Restlessness or anxiety

 Here I can answer no to the restlessness as I am quite the opposite. I can quite happily sit on my backside and do nothing. However, I would be tapping my heel on the ground.

Anxiety. Here is my problem. If something happens and I don’t know the way out, I will agonize about it and replay it in my head a million times to see what I should have done and what I must do or can do. Blah, Blah, Blah. Ending in many sleepless nights and this all links to number five on the list.

 

5.      5. Emotional concerns.

 Short Fuse? Absolutely! Sometimes I even wonder if there is a fuse.

Often depression used to swallow me whole and other times I would be jumping out of my skin with joy, life, and happiness.

Looney??  Maybe but all the same, are we not all just a little crazy?

This ….. “Oh, look my keyboard is dirty, I need to clean it!”

Sorry, it happened again.

I mostly came across to people who did not know me as a black-and-white person with no grey areas.

6.      6. Hyper Focus

 His happens seldom but when it does, when the motivation is actually there, you will have to know that you do not exist and that I will be on the focus planet, and you are a million light years away from me and you do not exist right now.

Quite the same as when I elope in silence without a thought or a brain.

 

7.      7. Time management

 “Can you sell that?

If I said I’ll be there, I will be there whether it is 5, 10, or 15 minutes give or take a few before or after only depending on the earnestness of the appointment.

“I’ll do it tomorrow.” And then tomorrow comes, “OK, but I will do it tomorrow.” … “Oh snickers, I should have done this already so let's quickly do it now before I need to go.”

Come on. Who knows this one?

Cannot only be me?

 

8.      8. Fatigue

 Mostly, my fatigue comes from lack of sleep because my brain just does not have an off switch and can continue on for days on end. Fussing over something that has happened or will or might happen.

Frustration to no end!

At five in the morning, when my husband usually wakes up, sometimes the conversation goes like this. “Morning my love, are you still awake?” “Yes, but I am getting a little tired now so maybe I will get some sleep now.”

Also, the worse the fatigue gets the harder it is to focus on anything, and the fuse shortens too!

 

9.     9.  Forgetfulness

 Oh, my word! “Where are my keys?” “Did I phone those people?” “Where did I put….?”

Man, I get so angry with myself, that I could climb the walls.

Sometimes even the question “What did you do last weekend?” could stump me and I would sit and wonder for the rest of the day.

This, I must say was my biggest problem in life causing many a hiccup at work or in my personal life. Now I work for myself, and I keep a close eye on the calendar for all my appointments and if I did not put it on there then it doesn’t happen.

 

Now, many of you can answer no to some of what I have told you my ticks are, but most of these things are a thing of the past for me now. Thank the pope. I have gotten help and medication which has changed my life considerably as I can now, that I am using the meds, say NO to some or even most of the issues above.

Thank goodness as I might have continued to be a lost soul with no mind.

Flying through your stress

 Now, if any of you are as afraid of flying as I am, you might be able to relate to this because I see problems in the same light.

I will tell you a little story to prove how terrified I am.

I was once on a flight from Johannesburg to Cape Town and the weather was not at all great. When we boarded the plane, It was raining quite heavily, but not enough to ground the plane.

With take-off, I was clutching the armrests so tight that my fingers and knuckles were completely white, and I kept taking extra-large breaths every time we hit an air pocket. Now the gentleman sitting next to me obviously pitied me, as when the drinks trolly came around they asked me first what I wanted to drink and I knew at that time that G&T got me hammered pretty quickly. The perfect stranger next to me gave a chuckle and ordered the same and then an extra coke. Once the cabin crew moved on, he said to me: “Here this is actually for you. You seem to need it.” Red-faced I thanked him for his generosity and much to my dismay after I had consumed both double G&T’s. I was quite a bit hammered. Now I do not know if this is true or if it is just a myth, but it sure felt true. Apparently, alcohol consumed at that altitude has double the effect it does on land. It sure felt that way.

When we landed in Cape Town, I had to wait quite a considerable amount of time before I could go and collect my rental car, as I could not pitch up there drunk fetching the vehicle.

And this is where my two cents come in.

The problems are the same as that Joburg, Cape Town flight.

There are always things we ponder every day as we go through our daily routine or whatever. Most of the time the proverbial poop hits the fan and our world tilts on its axes. This is when we do not know what to do with ourselves or the issue at hand.

Now I usually consider myself an intelligent person. Not a genius or anything just intelligent enough not to get the wool pulled over my eyes. But this is something that could even happen to a genius.

I actually thought that I was doop proof, however, at the beginning of this year, I was conned out of all the money in my bank account. The sad thing was that there was nothing I could actually do but I was scurrying to get the problem fixed and ended up with more trouble than it was worth.

Now many years ago, my life would have ended on the spot. Yes, I was quite the drama queen. Temper tantrum 2.0. I could have taught a few 2-year-olds a thing or two. Crying, kicking and screaming, and throwing a proper tantrum. To add to that, it would have never been my fault and everyone else would have been to blame. Angry with everyone and everything in this world being a complete dimwit.

Since then, I decided to adopt my motto: “But did you die?” Things have been a lot better for me. Facing my problems and accepting blame, if it was mine to accept. Then take them one step at a time.

The first thing that you need to do after you have stopped screaming, is "just breathe".

Think about the air hostess in front of the plane showing you the steps to follow in the event of an emergency.

Put the mask over your face and breathe.

Now that you are breathing you can try and calm yourself! Not that easy I know but a very crucial step. Remember my motto. You are not dead yet, so you can still save yourself and anyone you deem important enough if there is anyone that the problem affects.

Buckling up is important for your bumpy ride to get out of your turbulent situation. By this I mean, make sure you have taken any safety precautions you possibly can.

In my case, it was to stop all my cards so that the clever jerk who was just 5% smarter than I was could not steal any more of my money.

Now I had to remind myself that I did not have a parachute on this problematic flight and had to just sit and wait it all out till the end.

As a side note on this, I just cannot understand why people who have a perfectly working plane would want to jump out of it.

Anyhoo. I could also not exit through the emergency exits as the flight was already in motion at full speed and, as I have mentioned before, no parachute, and would have probably ended up answering NO to my motto.

In other words, trying to escape the problem, usually even if it is just for a short while, for example, indulging in alcohol or drugs, etc. ultimately might bring you into an even deeper fee fall. Then when you get back to reality your problem might have even escalated or will just stare you in the face again like it had before.

Sometimes, you are required to leave all your belongings behind and strap on your life vest. No matter what your sinking ship is, you need to ensure that your answer to the motto question is YES! TVs, laptops, and your jewelry are not going to keep you afloat. Evidently, they would probably weigh you down and your answer would change to NO. But getting to the liferaft first would considerably increase your chances of answering YES!

I love electronics as much as the next guy, but broadcasting your problems and failures and telling people, in my case, that I was stupid enough to get caught, also does not improve your situation. Remember, every single member of humanity has an opinion. (Come on think about it. Monkey see monkey do. Everyone else is doing it so why can’t I).  Thus you are likely to be bombarded with many people telling you that it was all your fault and that you are indeed an idiot.

Now I know they say no smoking on the flight, but that does not count when it is coming out of your ears.

You are allowed to be mad or sad. Those are your feelings and one should deal with ones feelings. Smokey ears are important because bottling up these feelings is a really bad idea and could also become explosive.

Find someone you trust to talk to. Not just all the life passengers sitting next to you, but someone you value and who values you back.

Now for especially long problem flights, you can’t just keep sitting on it! You need to move around and get your blood flowing again. Sometimes this helps you think of a possible solution or sometimes it just helps getting advice from a professional.

Imagine sitting on your problem as an egg. An egg you don't know the origin of. When you sit on it too long it might hatch into a dragon and hell’s bells, it could be a fiery end.

Ok, so maybe I have been watching too much GOT, But I think I have made my point.

Just remember that at some point, there will be someone out there who can give you the best advice on bracing for impact. Like on the safety brochure you have in the front pocket of the seat in front of you.

Not all problems should be dealt with alone but it’s up to you to choose the best life vest and professional to help you read the brochure.

The Playing Panda life

Somedays, all we want to do is shout and scream and throw our toys out of the cot, but in most instances, this temper tantrum situation does not always produce the desired effect.

My Husband, bless his beautiful soul, usually just either keeps quiet, thus actually creating the ‘kicking of an angry bear’ effect, or he would try and reason with me, which quite frankly is exactly what I wanted. “Ahhh… here’s the fight now. IT’s ON!”

Shame poor man.

These days I receive the silent treatment, because he never really wins any argument with me. I used to continue with the argument and the minute I felt like I was losing, I would get nasty sometimes. So now he just waits till I have calmed down and am able to talk about our issue reasonably, mostly.

Clever man!

So, where does this story come from you might ask? Well, it started a few years ago when my doting fiancé bought me a Harley Davidson Motorcycle as a wedding present. It was rather large for someone who had only driven a little scooter in her life before, and on a lovely summer New Year's morning, I asked him to take me to the local supermarket parking grounds to learn how to ride this particular beast.

The excursion ended up, much to my dismay, as an epic failure. There is a reason why they say in the biking community ATGAT (All the gear all the time.) Let’s just say that I ended up with a rather nasty burn on my leg and a few scrapes and bruises. I sent a photo of my burnt leg and the place on the exhaust where my naked skin had left its mark, to my best friend. She rather quickly replied, “It looks like a panda face on the exhaust!”

See!!!!!!

This sparked my interest in pandas and how they live and love.

Also, recently I had the misfortune of witnessing a child being run over by a car. This shook me to the core and have had to do some really deep digging into my life and how I live it.  Taking me back to the panda and thinking about life, love, and happiness.

The black-and-white thinking in life.

I teach English for a living, and I always tell my students that a sentence without adjectives and adverbs is like looking at a new coloring-in book. No colors. Without the needed adjectives and adverbs, our sentences are very boring and not much fun. And the more we add the more colorful and exciting it becomes.

Let’s face it. Black and white is mundane and deciding to live it like that could also possibly create many a ruction. Always being right or wrong. Here, though, the thing to remember is that everything you deem to be right or wrong is actually only your perspective.

This I learned the hard way when I got married. My Mr. Right avoids conflict like the plague and I, poor bloke, do not.

Living for so many years as a black-and-white thinker I did not have a good self-image as I mostly saw thin or fat, ugly or pretty, love or hate, never really thinking about the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”

Me being on the heftier side, only saw the bad about myself. Thus, creating a very bad image of myself and when looking in the mirror always moaning with disgust.

Well, this beautiful guy happened to be my Red Panda counterpart to my Giant Panda Black and white.

Quite frankly, I never even knew that there were such animals as Red Pandas in this world. He brought color to my life and while struggling through the battle of wills in the beginning of our relationship, he started coloring in my regular day-to-day boring life.

I might have been the Giant Panda with my black and white, but I was much smaller in personality. He, on the other hand being the smaller Red Panda, surely had the giant personality. Not quite sure if it works that way in the animal kingdom, however, it sure is that way with us.

Rare breed

Marriages these days are becoming easier to just throw in the towel and say It’s over. Easy outs. Lifelong partnerships are becoming more and more endangered as, this big nasty world that we live in, and the pressures of the way of living today is chipping away at our natural habitat of peace and happiness.

Everyone loves getting married and the fabulous day that is dedicated to you and your spouse. But sometimes we, the make-believe person, we as individuals like to portray ourselves as. Especially in the beginning. The living together, is where the true person resides especially after a few years, as one cannot hide behind the mask forever and your colors show.

Another fun fact is that pandas do not have thumbs! They have developed a pretend thumb, which are actually wrist bones that are elongated to get a better their grip of their food when eating.

Mmm…. Well maybe in marriage we can also change ourselves a little. By this I mean men and women. Transforming ourselves to be able to accommodate each other, thus bettering our partnership. I believe that this is the best thing for any connection even outside of a loving relationship.

Hibernating problems

Quite frankly, sometimes I feel like the ostrich has a really good point of sticking his head in the sand when problems arise. But how long can you actually breathe down there before having to come up for air eventually?

As per our reliable internet, the next fact is that Pandas do not hibernate at all they face the winter cold every year.

Personally, I would think that they would cuddle up together to keep warm, but this is not always the case and yet somehow, when the spring breaks at the end of every winter, each individual is still alive and eating. Subsequently, when the summer arrives life just goes on as per normal.

I see problems in the same light. My motto in life is quite harsh yet, if you think about it honestly and looking back on your own life you will find it true. Ask yourself the question, “But did you die?” No matter how bad your situation is, the fact that you are still living is the most important part. The hardship or problem that you are facing, you just have to take one step at a time. Whether you have someone to help you through or not.

My friend always jokes and asks, “How do you eat an elephant? … One bite at a time!”

Remind yourself that you are still alive (even when you feel that you would rather not be) and there must be some way to resolve it or at least ride it out till the end. Face your punishment, if there is any, and use it as a life lesson.

Hibernation, or sticking your head in the sand does not help in any situation.

­Pandas eat between 10-16 hours a day.

Do you know the saying; eat and be merry? Well, I think the pandas have perfected that completely. However pandas have the bodily functions to be carnivores, they prefer to rather eat bamboo with the occasional small animal if they really have to.

It is up to us to find our own purpose and happiness in life. This means that we are responsible for finding our happy pozzy. Humanity makes us change our food sources and, in this way, makes us change our purpose and happiness in life.

The Key ingredient is that you must make sure that you are always happy and fulfilled. Relying on others to give us that contentment is never a stable basis to build your life on.

Like that panda we are often forced to do something that we do not want to do or that we do not particularly like. Unfortunately, these are the things that we must do to be able to survive. (like eating the occasional small animal)

And again, do what you love, and you will never work a day in your life. I worked long and not-as-satisfying hours every day until I found my purpose and happiness with my students and helping my husband grow his business. Now it feels like I am on constant holiday.

"You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try.": Dolly Parton

Uniqueness

Dolly Parton once said: “Find out who you are. And do it on purpose.” Now I think that the pandas have taken being unique to the next level. Sometimes they do a handstand when they wee to be able to mark their territory. By doing it this way they are able to make their scent markings higher up.

I have the same quote tattooed on my arm by dear old Dolly. My reminder every day that I should not be ashamed of the things I do or say. (Be careful with this one though as you must always check your words and deeds before you do them so that nobody else can be hurt in the process.)

Why apologize for the person you are as long as you are not hurting other people and be true to yourself.

I was always worried about what people would say about me and what they would think. But my recent journey that I have taken has tough me, bugger that. I am who I am and the person who does not like me because of that is probably not the person I need or want in my life.

Be brave and try new things. If you like it continue and if you don’t move on to the next new challenge.

Also harping on the past and living with regret or anger is not going to do you any good either.

When I left my ex, I was angry with him for many years until I realized, that I was the only one harboring resentment and souring my own life, while he had already forgotten about the issues and moved on. My fault entirely, for living an unhappy life.

Now I do not recommend going around weeing on trees while doing a handstand but discover your uniqueness and hold on to that, because the right people will eventually come around and love it so much, that they will stay forever.

Pandas poop more than 40 times a day

This fact makes me giggle, as I think that they are never full of ……  And hopefully, they do not do it while they are doing a handstand as that could get incredibly messy.

Once again back to the lesson of my ex. Ridding yourself of harbored feelings of hate and resentment lightens your load to a happy and freeing life. Also getting rid of the poop in one’s life, like poopy friends and distancing yourself from not-so-nice family, could brighten your life considerably too.

Take each feeling, friend, family member or whatever it may be, hold it close to your heart, and think about it for a moment. If it brings you joy hold on to it. If it doesn’t then get rid of it.

Think of your life like a scale. On the one side, you have the happiness that you put into it and on the other side, you put your problems. Wouldn’t it be nice to have your scales tipped in the happy favor?

Pandas can swim and climb

Pandas can do many things, but they choose to sit and eat most of the day, because they choose to eat bamboo rather than eating more meat. Because of this, they are forced to actually eat much more bamboo. But this does not bother them.

Like I have mentioned before, try everything once and if you like it continue but if you don’t then you can lump it and leave it right there and try something new.

Now because pandas tend to spend much of their day on their derrieres, getting up and moving could prove to be quite a feat. So instead, they just decide, that the easiest way to do this is to roll. Especially down a hill.

Now we as humans should not spend our lives on our buttocks and we should get out there and conquer the world. However, who is to say we cannot do it in our own way.

Forging our path in the world is not always easy, but when you think about the ways you can do it choose the exciting one, even if that means rolling down a hill.

Pandas enjoy rolling and again as I have said before, do what you love every day.

Don’t worry about failure, as each one is a life lesson, and one learns from each one every time.

Society is an unforgiving species that gets one all tangled together with feelings and hate and remorse and this is something that being unique and loving oneself can get you untangled with.

Don’t get me wrong, I am human, and I still fall prey to some of the societal pitfalls, but these are just some of the lessons that I have learned in life that I have now given my five cents on.