Oh my ADHD Goodness!!!

Now where was I? …… What was I going to do? … mmm. What did you say?

Even as a child I used to say those words, especially waking up from me staring into the abyss with a completely blank mind.

Now when I was a child there was no such thing as ADD or ADHD. Just a spaced-out kid or an extremely energetic one, that couldn’t sit still. These were probably normal parameters for a child back then.

I used to drive nearly every teacher crazy. They could quite possibly see that I was nowhere near this planet called Earth, drifting far out into the next galaxy. Getting myself to focus on my studies was an even bigger feat! “She’s Lazy’” or “She has no motivation.” Or “She’s always busy with other things instead of what she should be doing.”

Yep, Poor Teachers.

This is how I carried on throughout my whole life. Frustration upon Frustration. Not me, of course, I was not frustrated then, but everyone else probably was.

Then after a tragedy last year, I was diagnosed with ADHD. “What? I have What?” After lengthy explanations and a few tests and as sure as eggs is eggs, I have ADHD. 46 years old and plodded through my life with this… What an eye-opener. Goodness. But treatment and management were the salvation.

My mom used to say, “Go clean your room!” I would go, but when I would get there, I would ultimately end up playing with my Barbie or other toys that were lying around still and then get into bigger trouble, because it was probably the third time my mom had told me to go do it.

They say that people with ADHD have different symptoms. So, here goes! I will go through some of mine

1.      1. Disorganization

 What do you mean? I know where everything is. It’s my organized chaos. I have organized it. Desk a mess, cupboard a mess, nightstand a mess, however most times I can find whatever I need to. In other instances, I would have to retrace my steps to be able to remember which was the next troublesome quest.

So, this symptom is a definite YES.

 

2.    2.  Relationship concerns.

 “Why must I remember this person’s name again?” or “Who is this dude again?” “Sorry what is your name again, I know I have met you a couple of times before but I really cannot remember.”

Sitting in a conversation trying to follow it, but either too complicated or boring, in which case the abyss sets in again and I am off to another planet. Weeks later someone says, “, but I told you!’ umm…

Other times, I get so excited about what the conversation is about, that I just want to chip in all the time, and I am seen as Mrs. Rude. So sorry. I actually can’t help being insensitive or rude. I try so hard not to be. It’s not really in my nature to be rude or uncaring. It just sometimes comes across like that

 Again, another big YES on this one

 

3.      3. Lack of focus

 Look, even as a child, if I had the mindset to concentrate, even if it was only for 30 min, I had to close myself off and then maybe I would be able to focus. Een now, if I get a bee in my bonnet to write these stories, there must be nothing … “Oh look, my cat looks so cure lying on the windowsill. … What was I saying again?”

I literally have to read something important a few times so that I can make sure that I have not overlooked anything.

Starting studies too. I have paid quite a bit of money on short courses in my life, and have not finished most of them. If I can not do it while I am in a motivated mood then, forget it. I have wasted my money once again.

 A huge frustrating YES.

 

4.     4.  Restlessness or anxiety

 Here I can answer no to the restlessness as I am quite the opposite. I can quite happily sit on my backside and do nothing. However, I would be tapping my heel on the ground.

Anxiety. Here is my problem. If something happens and I don’t know the way out, I will agonize about it and replay it in my head a million times to see what I should have done and what I must do or can do. Blah, Blah, Blah. Ending in many sleepless nights and this all links to number five on the list.

 

5.      5. Emotional concerns.

 Short Fuse? Absolutely! Sometimes I even wonder if there is a fuse.

Often depression used to swallow me whole and other times I would be jumping out of my skin with joy, life, and happiness.

Looney??  Maybe but all the same, are we not all just a little crazy?

This ….. “Oh, look my keyboard is dirty, I need to clean it!”

Sorry, it happened again.

I mostly came across to people who did not know me as a black-and-white person with no grey areas.

6.      6. Hyper Focus

 His happens seldom but when it does, when the motivation is actually there, you will have to know that you do not exist and that I will be on the focus planet, and you are a million light years away from me and you do not exist right now.

Quite the same as when I elope in silence without a thought or a brain.

 

7.      7. Time management

 “Can you sell that?

If I said I’ll be there, I will be there whether it is 5, 10, or 15 minutes give or take a few before or after only depending on the earnestness of the appointment.

“I’ll do it tomorrow.” And then tomorrow comes, “OK, but I will do it tomorrow.” … “Oh snickers, I should have done this already so let's quickly do it now before I need to go.”

Come on. Who knows this one?

Cannot only be me?

 

8.      8. Fatigue

 Mostly, my fatigue comes from lack of sleep because my brain just does not have an off switch and can continue on for days on end. Fussing over something that has happened or will or might happen.

Frustration to no end!

At five in the morning, when my husband usually wakes up, sometimes the conversation goes like this. “Morning my love, are you still awake?” “Yes, but I am getting a little tired now so maybe I will get some sleep now.”

Also, the worse the fatigue gets the harder it is to focus on anything, and the fuse shortens too!

 

9.     9.  Forgetfulness

 Oh, my word! “Where are my keys?” “Did I phone those people?” “Where did I put….?”

Man, I get so angry with myself, that I could climb the walls.

Sometimes even the question “What did you do last weekend?” could stump me and I would sit and wonder for the rest of the day.

This, I must say was my biggest problem in life causing many a hiccup at work or in my personal life. Now I work for myself, and I keep a close eye on the calendar for all my appointments and if I did not put it on there then it doesn’t happen.

 

Now, many of you can answer no to some of what I have told you my ticks are, but most of these things are a thing of the past for me now. Thank the pope. I have gotten help and medication which has changed my life considerably as I can now, that I am using the meds, say NO to some or even most of the issues above.

Thank goodness as I might have continued to be a lost soul with no mind.